The Birds in Our Mouths

We have birds in our mouths, they’re born from our throats

And lay eggs in the nests of our heads

They fly through our lungs, looking for hearts,

But often find stomachs instead

The birds in our mouths would love to fly

To be seen by the world at large

But the birds from some mouths have farther to fly

To flit above birds in charge

The birds in charge tend to be bright

To burst forth and fly about

They swoop amongst treetops, sit in the light

It’s hard to miss them shout

Some smaller birds, though equally fair

Are difficult to hear in a crowd

The birds in charge might not quite know it

But their calls are incredibly loud

Some birds are quite shy, and when given the chance

Tend not to leave their keep

They hesitate on the tips of tongues

But can’t quite make the leap

They hop back behind the molars

And often feel the shame

That comes with not quite figuring out how

To join the other birds’ game

There are birds that skulk like vultures

Waiting patiently for prey

They perch on shoulders and peck at cheeks

And often for years they’ll stay

They murmur their calls in our ears

And cover our eyes with their wings

Its difficult to make out the other birds

Over their shouts and whispers and things

The birds of some people soar straight to our hearts

They make nests in the smalls of our backs

Their wings could lift us off the ground

And their calls could fill up our cracks

When your birds fly from the back of your throat

They perch lightly on my nose

Their feathers are soft as their wings stroke my cheeks

Time quickens and then it slows

Your birds found a way through the cage of my ribs

They explored my dark insides

It was cold down there but they did not mind

They brought light where it had been denied

They silenced my birds that squawk in my head

They put them quietly to bed

Where once was harsh, jarring tones

There is now soft singing instead

My birds quite like sharing space with yours

And I didn’t find them intrusive

The vultures that sat on my shoulders once

Seemed to become less abusive

My birds found strength in the kindness of yours

And soared quite far, and proudly

I realised for once, it seemed my birds

Were actually singing quite loudly

But birds are just words and words are not things

They do not come to stay

Your birds and your words were warming at first

But then they flew away

Her Cloud is Leaking

Sunlight forced its way angrily through the dark curtains which had been closed hastily the night before, leaving patches of window in her view. The curtains did not do much to stop the sun from reaching into her bedroom and grasping a hold of everything in it, throwing it all into view, plunging her into reality.

            She was disappointed by this unceremonious launch into the real world, disappointed to learn that everything still existed, that the people and places and things that had disappeared last night had truly come back. She looked above her and her greatest fear was confirmed. Her cloud had come back too.

            Her cloud spent a vast amount of time following her where she went, falling about her like a heavy blanket that she could not shake off. It was not put off by physical barriers, without consent, settled itself into her head and chest, suffocating her. To her complete frustration and emabarrassment, very few others could see her cloud. This was curious because it was so tightly bound around her, and so constricting, she was surprised that she was not being rushed to the hospital to have her cloud pryed off and out of her.

            Her cloud had settled itself comfortably inside and on top of her, pinning her to her bed. She could not lift her arms or her legs, it sat so heavily upon her. It seeped into her muscles and her brain, filling her with its misty being that was somehow as heavy as lead. In an effort that felt nothing short of herculaen, she heaved herself upright. Her cloud fell into her stomach and filled it with cement, before falling into her feet, planting her to the ground. The cloud had wrapped itself around her legs like weights, turning her walk into a shuffle.

            To her utter frustration, the cloud, which was so present today, was behaving rather modestly, deciding not to show itself. This was utterly inexplicaple because she could see the cloud everywhere she looked. She could see it expanding to fill each room she entered like a massive balloon that could not be contained merely by walls and ceilings. Everywhere she looked, people effortlessly walked and talked through her cloud as though it simply didn’t exist. She, however, could hardly force words out, as the cloud sat so heavily in her throat and in her chest.

            And in an instant, it became too much. The weight of this being that had taken residence inside her became more than she could bear. It sat on her eyelids, pulling them closed. It sat on her toungue, weighing it down. It filled her heart with its dark and heavy sludge and she could feel it leaking out of her chest. For fear of this oily darkness dripping onto the hard university desk in front of her and making a mess, she mumbled an apology, and headed back to her home, to her bedbed where, if she was lucky, she could slip into unconsciousness, and everything that had rudely launched itself into existence this morning, would disappear again as though it had never come into being in the first place.

I'm starting to hate the days

I'm starting to hate the days again
It's like prolonging the pain again
I'm starting to feel the shame again
And I wish I could sleep it away again

I used to take deep breaths and then
See what strength I had left and then
Do crafts or write or cook but when
you're tired you can't be bothered again

I look forward to the night again
when falling asleep is right again
there are no expectations to fight and then
you wake up and do it again and again and again